Adventures of pee pee and things of the sorts

I'm sure my boys, specially the little guy, are super happy our camera is broken right now. Pictures from my home today would be hysterical and would have all sorts of toddler nakedness around. That and several pairs of peed train underwear, wet cushions, and things of the sort.

I've been trying to Potty train Aiden FOREVER and it was two steps forward, 411 backwards. Why are boys so difficult? My Sister had it good since her daycare takes care of her kids and she would just follow up at home.

I would put the timer for every 15-20 minutes, take him and nothing would happen. Sure, he did pee pee must days but then would still pee in his pull ups. So today I put underwear on him. And already our couch and one dinning chair (oh, and my back) have been peed on.
Still I put him in the toilet, ask him where we pee (he knows) then show him the couch cushion, which he says "sowwwwy". But still he pees all over.

Now I decided to put this little gem in the middle of the living room

and keep trying all day. We may have to deep clean the carpet this weekend.
Did I mentioned that I also woke up with a major migraine and that my neighbors where making so much noise it sounded like elephants where humping? But that is not the focus today...pee is.
So I'm looking forward to tonight, to the Hubs coming home and me locking myself in the bathroom and relaxing. I think I'm going to paint my nails a pretty light blue.



Oh, and I have an interview Thursday, lets see what happens.

Over & out

Because I said so

Some of my favorite bloggers are those who disclose their life when they are running hammock and when life is not picture perfect. I tend to stay away from blogs about look-at-my-perfect-life-with-my-perfect-kids-in my perfect white couch. I hate those. That is not realistic. And if you are one of those I have to say that sorry, I don't believe you.

Life is chaotic, and messy, and fun, and stressful.There are blissful days and days that I just want the day to over so I can rest. It has just been one of those days. I love my kids, I love being a SAHM, I seriously do, but there are days when you just want to scream.

Today there where some issues that where happening in the morning, that combined to my conversation last night with my ill brother, who is all alone, battling Stage IV Colon cancer, eating a McD's Dollar menu items while sitting in his car, in front of the river, by himself...it was just sad. So today was already a not so fun day, but I had my positive attitude on, I carried on, I dropped/picked up people, I did some laundry, organize the house a bit, manage to get the kid to nap. But let me tell you, my baby, my little angel, this little precious child

has been driving me bonkers lately.

He is a good boy and most of the time I have no complains but lately he has this really annoying habit of crying like someone is murdering him if you don't do what he wants right away. No, he is not throwing a tantrum, is more like this:

I'm making dinner, chopping things away and he is in the living room, with his cartoons on the TV, Dinosaur King on the computer, and his favorite snacks on hand (grapes and strawberries). Well, Dinosaur king ended and he wanted me to select a new one from youtube. I told him to please wait and he started crying, like a sad cry and running to get his brother. Now when he gets like this I've tried talking to him, sitting him down, etc. but then he cries even louder.

He cries like this : waaaaaaaaaaa, I'M SORRY MOMMY, I'M SOOOOORRRY....
to the outside it may sound like someone is torturing this child with nail clippers and he is begging me for me to stop. EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

there is nothing I do that makes him stop, so today I lost it, I screamed at him so loud I was embarrased afterwards for loosing my temper like that. I said "ENOUGH AIDEN,I HAD ENOUGH! STOP CRYING OR I'LL PUT YOU ON TIME OUT, SHUT IT.RIGHT.NOOOOOOW!

He got so scared, but let me tell you he calmed down. I was not proud of myself but sometimes I think your children challenge you to see how far they can go. After that he play in peace and even came to the kitchen to ask me what I was doing.

This is NOT how I want to discipline my almost three year old, this is not the kind of thing I want to do or the kind of Mother I want my kids to remember. I felt so bad afterwards...
then I remember that I am his Mom, that I am the one in charge, that sometimes a good scream is what they need to know you mean business.

I am a Mother, not his friend. I want to inspire love, but also respect. So I took a breather and calm down and realize that good mothers are human too.

Over & out

You lost me at carrots, which was the first draft of 'you had me at hello'.

So I've been busy, what else is new, but can I tell you how incredible sore I am from shopping?

"Like, O.M.G Barbara Jean, did you know Nordstrom was having a sale y'all?!" -said in my most faked 15 yr old Britney voice.

I have gone out with the Mom-ster EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

We've gone to 3 Marshalls, malls gallore, Kohls, WM, Michaels, countless Payless, Macys, SEARS, JCP, Lord and Taylor, Old Navy, etc...seriously I think the only store we didn't go was the Sex toy store, and believe me, if she thought she was getting a deal, she would have been there!

My feet are throbbing, my back is aching, and I swear I've lost a few pounds. The Mom-ster i

s a complicated woman, being 75 and all. The shirts she likes are too tight, too low cut, she does' like showing her arms but don't like long sleeves...I'm telling you the blouses she likes do not exist.

The good thing is that we did score major deals: dresses @ $1.98, a pair of boots for $5, Dressy Italian shoes for $3...seriously major scores. The thing is the weather is nice around here right now and people don't know if they should dress for spring or winter...so I guess they opted for summer since all the bating suits are out. Oh, and I also got an email from Crabtree & evelyn from liking their FB page back in Nov. gave me a free hand cream, and then for signing up in their store got an extra one!!! (I choose lemon) I love free stuff.

My house is a mess, there is a mattress on the living room and there is no rhyme of reason how to organize everything (my oldest gave his room and has made the living room a new version of occupy DC). and then I found this one morning...the little one crawl in to cuddle with his big brother....awwwwww...btw one pillow is hello and the other white, just saying.

So the word to the wise is too have some major walking shoes and maybe sweatpants to tackle these trips, anything is better than this:

Please remind me that the above look it's not appropriate gear for shopping with the Mom-ster.

(stripe shirt-old navy, sweater-Gap, Jeans- Levi's, boots- Bass for $9.99 a century ago)

BTW-my eyes are Hazel, not weird zombie like.

So that's what I'm up to. what about you?

Over & out

At least she had a Husband to Kill...

Busy week here.

Let's just say that attending a funeral for a 10yr old when her little Brother and Sis (6 & 8) are there is not my cup of tea. By the time I got to sit down I was shaking. Seeing the Mom touching her little girls hair is just heartbreaking...

In other news the Mom-ster is coming to visit next week from the Homeland, so we get to go to NYC again!!! She is coming for a short visit but still was looking forward to it, until she called me today and drove me NUTS about her flight in just 5 minutes.

The little guy had a play date today with my niece and nephew and he seems awfully tired since he didn't nap. I' hoping he would be in bed by 8:30pm because I plan on taking the Hubs on a date night (we won free movie tickets). I've been looking forward to "The Woman in black" so lets see how it goes. I feel so grown up by going to the 10pm viewing!!! I told the Hubs I did not want to go during the day, I wanted a "REAL" date night.

Oh, and I got this beauty with a coupon. Revlon Naughty is a remake on Revlon Perplex, which was a dupe for the coveted Chanel Paradoxal (which I would never pay for) I also saw it @ WM for

$3+ and if you get the coupon is less than that. Isn't it a beauty?

Above- Revlon Naughty (photo by The nail Network)

Above Chanel Paradoxal (photo) All Laquered up.

So that is it for this Saturday evening, I have to go finish dinner and then get ready for our date.

Over & out

And we are off...

We made it. Here is to another New Year and hopefully a better more hopeful one.

Chirstmas was a little off, it all started with my Sister's family getting sick. Christmas eve she didn't feel well and my niece was throwing up. I had to go there and set up her table for her.

Then from then it got worse, her in-laws where arguing (MIL calling the kiddos "Shit") it was bad. Then they had to take my niece to the ER. We actually where the normal ones, took some time to hunt down some Christmas lights,




but then the Next day was my little guys turn, from 1am on he trowed up all over the bed, comforters, my Hubs, etc. Then my Hubs got sick too.

The piles of laundry where both huge and disgusting!



Thankfully we all got better by midweek, I had tons to do, errands to run, things to pay, problems with our oldest on's bank account, just CRAZY.

Finally we made it Friday night to NYC to see the Hubs family. That was a real blast. We took the kiddos to see the Tree and the Rockefeller Center, I found a Anthropology store and got 4 more of my obsession: latte bowls. That Night the party was on, we danced a lot and ate some more. Sadly I forgot the camera so there just a few shots we took with my SIL camera.

The next day was a Birthday party with ridiculous amount of tripe soup YUK! I don' t eat that even if you paid me but the Hubs loves it. Thankfully there was also Roasted pork for those of us picky eaters.

We did some Karaoke, laugh so much that I almost peed my pants and of course sickness followed us around because our nephew that had been sick with a terrible cough got worse, having to nebulized him and we ended up in the ER at the end of the night. I stayed there till 2am, then went home to take care of her 8 wk old so that her Hubs could join her. I stayed up till 4am. I tell you, never a boring moment. Even yesterday we where supposed to just pack, order empanadas and get ready to come home, people started stopping by so we didn't leave until 5pm.

Oh, but we did enjoy ourselves and had a blast, and I cannot wait to go back.
I hope you all had a blast in a glass and that this year brings you many more fantastic things!

Over & out

Stomach Virus + Vomit = Christmas

Yeap. We have been sick around these parts. Finally recuperating and doing the aftermath cleaning (so far 4 loads of laundry and not even close to being done).

I'll be back...

Over & out

Hello Monday...now leave

The lack of sleep is still taking over my life, however I've decided I will win this fight. Even though last night it was 4am and I was still up, kind of sort of watching a ridiculous movie called "Christmas in Connecticut" and thinking that we really should move to the country, I woke up at 7am, took the Hubs to the train station, came home, made the largest posible cup of coffee and hang with the kiddo in bed watching cartoons for a bit.



I am exhausted but I wont lay down. Alain last test for the semester is today so I have to take him to school early. So what is one to do when you get no sleep and are supper tired and waiting for maintenance to come sand a wall in our bedroom? Clean of course!

Stress have been taking over me, the lack of sleep, the bills to be paid, then the Holidays, I seriously just need a breather. I don't want to complain, specially since driving thru one of those shopping plazas I saw a tent behind an old building, seems like some folks have been living there. I know this happens all the time, all over, but seeing this just showed me how lucky I am indeed, and that no matter what there is always a tomorrow.

I know this post seems so random and all over the place, but with my scatter brain this is all I can muster right now.

Anyone else watching good TV? seems I'm always up I finally caught up with 2 shows that I'm loving right now: " Once Upon a Time" & " Grimm" both based on fairytales, I love it!

OK, off to make lunch to one demanding little guy.

Over & out

Life or something like that

I've been away from blogging these past couple of days. I had to refocus my efforts in life to make some things work.

Marriage is hard and you have to keep working at it. I truly believe that is like a roller coaster, some times you are up high and some times you are coming down...fast. I had to refocus my attention when things got really ugly and the arguments where the worst we had in all our time together. That is not how we want to live.

After much inner searching I realized it didn't matter who was wrong (him) or who was right (me...I kid, I kid) but how to make things work. I told him just so. I stated that what I was requesting was very important to me, but no more important than our marriage, I asked what could I do to make things better. You would not believe how fast things cool down once we realized being right was not the main goal but how to work thru this.

I would say that thankfully is not about cheating, drinking, gambling, drugs, or major things. To me (and to us it seems) is the little things that you don't talk about. The things that just build up until you explode for what may seem something trivial.

I recommend speaking about the little things every day and airing the laundry as much as possible. So I've been doing that, trying to work things out, spending time with the kids and friends, cooking and turning this:





into this delicious dish (that has tons of carrots and onions but you would never know since they are blended in!
Took sometime to do this (see how Happy Teenagers are to go take pics with the family?) bwahahaha

and received a few goodies: ALL FOR FREE!!! including our Christmas cards. I love me some coupons and giveaways.




It feels good to take care of me too. I've been stepping out with friends for 1 or 2 hours just to browse some makeup, browse the malls, run some errands. Just hanging with friends can do so much good. After all, we all need time away for ourselves.

Over & out

Happy Thanksgiving? Nope.

My original tittle included an expletive so I decided to leave it out...for now.
It was just an over all bad day for me.

Our plans of going to New York fell thru, which left me cooking again...sigh...fine then.
But the entire day I was cleaning, cooking, making cookies with the little guy, washing and blow drying my hair, getting the meals ready, etc. Not one time did my Hubs or my big kiddo offer to help me. Nope. they just sad on their asses and watched TV all day.




When dinner was ready I got my makeup on, got dressed, I was trying to get the little guy dressed and my oldest asked why are you getting him dressed? to which I responded it's Thanksgiving!!!

Well neither him or the hubs got dressed to take one darn picture. They sat at the table wearing shorts and T'shirts. Got drinks serve and didn't even asked me if I wanted anything. At this point I wanted to cry already but I keep it together. They got off from the table, didn't even say thank you to me. Like, really? this is also MY holiday and I did EVERYTHING alone today and not even a Thank you?

To top it all I had discussed with my son on Sunday that he ate 22 granola bars in 2 days (we get the wholesale size for him) I asked him to please refrain from doing this, that they where for him to enjoy but to please be mindful of what he was eating. Imagine my surprise to find the empty box in the garbage was a slap on my face. He ate 48 bars in 6 days. When I asked him to come to the kitchen I asked him did you just eat the whole box after our conversation? He gave me this nasty "yes" like so what?
UGH, I wanted to smack him but instead I told him off and told him I was so hurt by his attitude. I ended up bathing Aiden and getting him in bed, then ended up alone in our living room watching "The Family Stone" and crying...

I want to be thankful of what I have and that we where together, but I was just so sad. Thankfully I got some smiles from the only guy who told me he loved me...






I hope you guys have a better day and that my next Holiday would be much better...

Over & out

A rainy Wednesday

Today is a beautiful rainy day, it's gray and a little cold...perfect day to snuggle with the kiddo while watching cartoons.

For a while he went thru the terrible twos (not as terrible as some) but mostly saying no to us, or "It's mine", " I don't wanna", and whining when he didn't get his way. He quickly realize this does not work on this household, thus this stage has ended. He has been ver
y loveable, telling us he loves us, giving lots of hugs and kisses, saying sorry's, thank yous, your welcomes when necessary.

I usually take the hubs to the train while he still sleeping and I return and go right back in bed and cuddle with him. He usually wakes me up by throwing himself (or a Dino) at me, followed by kisses too...the first thing he wants is the Christmas tree and our little Village lighted up.

Yes, Christmas Decor is already mostly done since a few days ago. We do Thanksgiving in NYC so why wait. Specially on days like these I can't help but feel blessed and happy seeing the tree light up. Is not fancy, I still need a few things for it, but guess what? he does not care. He sees it with the joy of a kids innocence and that's what matter.

Oh, and Christmas shopping is already 90% done...how? Layaway baby! This is the first year we have done it and honestly I felt a little embarrassed, until I saw how easy it was to get it out of the way already, have small payments and NO BILLS coming our way (which wouldn't happen anyways since we don't have CC).

This is waking up, still in PJ's, already rearranging his toys.

Last night my oldest wanted a candy bar, I was not about to leave the house for this but being the awesome Mom I am *wink* I made him a homemade Spanish dessert... Cortado de Leche!

(First picture is mine, the second is from the web since they didn't gave me a chance to take one)


Yummy!
He jumped out of bed so excited when I told him I made him this...I know these are the things he is going to remember.
How's your holiday going so far? What are some of your traditions? I love browsing thru the blogosphere this time of year!

Over & out

Today is your day

Wake up this morning by feeling 40lbs of pure energy jumping on my stomach and yelling "wake up mommy, wake up" then he proceeded to tickle me.
I smile because no matter how much I hate mornings this makes it worth getting up.

Drink coffee and the smells makes me smile again.

Open the windows and see is sunny out today. A while later the Hubs comes back from the market and shows Aiden he got him grapes. I laugh because his reaction would be that of a teenage boy that has just been gives a PS3, he loves fruit that much.

I hear thump, thump, thump and I see that they are placing new carpet on the hallways and stairs.

I decided to take it easy today so I just take everything out of the kitchen and clean it. The smell of clorox and soap makes me happy. Aiden slides in to help out with the broom.

I have to drive the big kid to college in the PM, then pick him up...I think how lucky I am that he is a dreamer, that has so many plans for the future.

I come home to do my exercise and Aiden, who decided that a nap was contra productive runs out of the room and joins me and encourages me by yelling :"kick mommy, kick" followed by an amazing laugh.

These days he gets into everything, has broken a few Christmas Ornaments (yeah, I'm all ready for the Holidays, whooa, whoooa), gets the gallon of milk from the fridge and tips over chairs. I'm thinking Quarterback right now.

The Hubs is home sick and he is driving me insane because men are such babies.

Today was ordinary and so extraordinary at the same time. They are challenges that I cannot predict and have to roll with the punches...like my money not being in my account and not able to go food shopping like I had plan until I get this resolve...but is ok.

I have a choice to make the best of it, to be in the moment, to be grateful of what we have, a loving needy Hubs, healthy and active boys, a roof still over our heads. My kid can eat grapes and has milk in the fridge for him. How many do not have as much today?

You got to stop worrying for what you don't have and LOVE what you do, you will be happier.
Choose to be there in the moment, choose to enjoy the moment when the kid is still a kid.

No...this is not all my doing..I've been watching some of Oprah's life class (if you can believe I've never been a fan of hers, but the timing of this series has been fantastic for me) and watching Randy Pausch Last lecture...if you can, please go see it on Youtube.

Life is beautiful if we choose it to be.

Happy Monday and Happy thoughts today...

Over & out.

Staying home...decisions, decisions

It's Tuesday and I know is going to be a wonderful day. I have all this cleaning planned {you know I get the hots for Mr. Clean} and the big kiddo made me breakfast, not even cereal and milk but an omelet, toast, my coffee with Cinnabon creamer...yummo.

I skipped yesterday's FMM since they where posting healthy recipes. I do try to be good but let's face it, I'm the type who doesn't measure most of the time, I just go for it, wing it, then taste it. Plus my yummy enchiladas are not exactly healthy, no matter if I used fat free cream of chicken, healthier cheese, etc. *wink*




So due to our current situation the hubs and I've been talking about what is going to happen in the near future: are we moving? am I going back to work? the little guy going back to daycare?...all impending questions.

I fist became a SAHM mom because of being lay off, then of course good old former employer did not want to pay unemployment, which delay my payments, which put us behind in lots of bills. But ahhhhh, I worked for the VP of operations and knew that they always try to pull a fast one, so I've always kept copies of everything: Dr's notes, days off, performance reviews, so they had no option to pay up. Goes to show you that a job is just that, a job; no matter how much you like it, how good you are at it, how great the people are and how long have you been there...when they want to screw you, they will.

I'm not going to lie, the first couple of months where challenging, and there are some weeks that all I want is a day for me...and days when I want to give up and go back to work...but they trade off would not be fair, or good, or better.




I've never been a feminist, I've never wanted to be equal to a man.That was never my thing. I've always dreamed to being at home, taking care of the house and the kids, I just never thought it would happen since we are not financially stable.

But then, I read this post which I've mentioned before, from "Like Mother, Like Daughter" that spoke to me in so many ways. Maybe because I moved here and had to leave the big kiddo back home while I finish his papers, maybe because I missed so much of his growing up, I now cherish all these little moments with my family and kids.

I hear all the time 'friends" and even family, telling me how they would never be able to stay at home, how that would drive them crazy, how they need to feel productive. Because raising little individuals to be morally decent and honest, self reliant and independent individuals, with a good heart willing to help others is such a walk in the park.

Don't get me wrong, I know some women HAVE to work.
I was one of them. But it bothers me how some females in my life state things like "omg, not even with 2 MA's, a full time job I do as much" her tone is what bothered me, it was very condescending and why throw the MA's there? I went to college too! Or the comments "when you get back to work", "when you find a real paying job". SAY WHAT?!

I have a real paying job. They just don't pay me in cash. They pay me in "Mommy your back!", or "I love you", or "here, I made you an omelet".

A decision was made. Hubs is looking for another job. I will stay home.We will manage and figure things out as we go. And yes, we will be having more kids. This is the life we want for us and we will make it work. I know people will judge us, think we are nuts, think we shouldn't. We don't care.

This is the goal right now...it may change in the future but we hope it wont.
And those days when I need a break I will take them...like next Tuesday I have a schedule free facial.

So there's that. I hope you too go for your goals and dreams, whether is loosing weight, getting a new career, having kids...do what works for you.

I'm off to clean the bathroom while dancing listening to Selena, a great day indeed!

Over & out

The Money Issue

After reading most of the post that where linked on Monday from FMM it got me thinking about money and how different the perception of having it changes with each person. We often don't want to talk about it, how much we make, how much we paid for certain items, it is so taboo.

Growing up I never knew much about money, my Father was able to send 6 kids to private school and Universities, build his own home with no money loaned to him, purchased cars cash. I just assume everyone did the same. It wasn't until I move here the reality hit me. I was poor and alone. I had to work hard to get what I had.

To me money is money though, it doesn't make me, it doesn't break me {ok, maybe a little when I see the upcoming check is already gone}, and to me is meant to be spent. I'm not one of those very conservative people that save as much as they can, I've never had. Maybe that's the root of my "problem".

The thing is that I have issues with people who don't enjoy life because they want to save money, they don't go out to eat because of savings, won't buy something they want or need because they are cheap. I understand having kids one must be prepared for the future, I get that but I don't get people that have money and don't help others. I hate that.

Do you remember the episode from "Sex & the City" in which Carrie is about to loose her home and Charlotte didn't offer to help her?

I know there are many people in the world that think like that: You are an adult and should learn to manage yourself, quoting "It's not my job to fix your problems". I think that we all need someone to help, maybe you lend a friend money you have and that person is the one who is always there for you, listening to you. Or the one who shows up when you are sick, the one who takes care of your pet, or just a fantastic friend.

I am the type of person that if I know you need my last $20 I will give them to you, I have help people that I know had nothing to eat, or giving them a ride spending my money on gas, etc. I just think that if you have money, why not help others?

Maybe that's why I am not rich. One close person to me told me a story about a coworker having the kids at her job, the kids where hungry and the mom had no money. This person went to the deli, got a sub and brought it back to work and ate it in front of the kids. The little boy just stared and said "that looks good". Now I know this person has and had money and just refused to spent their money on someone else's kids because they are not responsible. I could NEVER do that. what harm could it have dome to get another sub, cut it in two and give it to those kids?

I hear what people are going to say:"it's my money and I should do what I want", "their Mother should be more responsible", "they are not my kids", blah, blah, blah. That hurts me, to know that people can be so cold towards one another but specially kids.

Life is short, I don't want to be like my Aunt Dilenia who spent all her life saving money, eating the minimum, just to die and leave all this money to her kids, who are now fighting over it. How about sharing that when she was alive, teaching them to share and be there for one another and know that the money is not all?

Or my other cousin who tried to commit suicide because he was so overwhelmed with debt and a harassing brother. It took for him to land in ICU for his family to help him out and said you know what, you are not alone. Money comes and goes.

But that's just me. And maybe because I have been lucky enough that in time of need people have come to my rescue many a time, asking nothing in return, and perhaps is because when they have needed me I have been there for them too.

There has to be a reason why the wealthiest people in America give their money away, like Warren Buffett (below) or Bill Gates. Maybe they have it all and know money is not everything...

When I knew I could not afford my house anymore and needed to sell it, I called my Mom-ster and she just kept asking why I had to sell, try to keep it, the home this, the home that, she kept thinking about what others may think of it instead of what I needed to do. She didn't understand I was already sad and needed to get out of a bad situation...she just cared about the house.

And then now, being unemployed will teach you how people perceive you...which should have no reflection on Who we are. You realized those who really care about you no matter what your bank account says.

And yes, money is necessary, money is in our lives forever but I won't make it my defining factor of who I am, or who we are as a family. These days we don't have credit cards, we save money for the things we need/want or turn to places like QVC. This doesn't stop us from going out as a family once in a while, indulging on Pizza night, or planning to go on vacation...eventually.

I want my kids to know we are not measure by money, that we work hard to provide for them but that money is just paper, that they should be there for each other, and for others in need. That saving is all good and dandy as long as you don't forget to live life, enjoy it and help others.

Over & out

Finding cheese on the floor

Rambling warning

It's 2:50am and I still can sleep. At first I said let me just catch up on "Weeds" {the show people!} because gawd knows I need motivation after the show went to the crapper for me. Seriously, doesn't this woman ever learn? I heard from a friend that does recreation drugs-something I'm complete against-that this happens to a lot of drug people when they come out of jail, they don't know what to do and go back to the same life, to me is just plain dumb, but hey is a TV show so I will indulge my curiosity since is the last season.

Now I'm fully alert and not in the mood to watch the rest of the episodes...so I'm on the computer checking the Postsecrets of the day. They make me sad, and make me laugh, and some of them touch my heart because there is so much hurt out there...

Oh, I forgot to warn you this was going to be a rambling post...kinda one of those in which people just write for 5 minutes what ever comes to mind.

so, where was I? oh yes, hurt...I always said I hate technology because of the things it does to us and it seems growing an extra set of balls usually happens when someone is behind a computer screen or a phone...gosh people can be mean.

um, what else? I went thrift shopping but didn't get anything although next to one Goodwill there is a Pier1 and I was tempted to get an Owl. Lovely creatures...which made me think of a boy I use to know back home who had one as a pet, who dies of eating too many bananas...the owl, not the boy.

I also decided to create a list of things I want to get for the house now the old CD collection resides in pretty white IKEA boxes. So the list goes like this:

1. Paint walls of living/dinning room

2. get curtains for livingroon

3.get the shelves for the kitchen so I can display my pretty collection of Anthro bowls.

uhmmm, thats it, not too much to ask...although I saw this mirror @ Michael's that must be mine.

In other news I found out that since is the second year of the Learning Center they are only going to allow kids that are going to attend that specific adjacent school, so Aiden won't be going to play there again...MAJOR bummer since he loved it there, lets see if the rest of the schools around here jump on the plan too so he can go back. This means I'm gonna have to do a lot more of trips with him to the library, museums, etc.

And before I go let me show you what he got into today, which got me in to the tittle of the post. The little rascall got in the fridge, took out some of the baby bell cheese and proceeded to peal it and eat it...at least I know he would never starve. I love that kid. I don't even want to know what he ate before that made his poop come out green...

Over & out

P.S.

I got some new candles that I'm in love and nail polishes...I will show you soon!

I'm good so...that's bad?

The conversation about being good, or rather too good, has come up more than once around here. Our oldest seems to think I'm kind of a "pendejo" which is someone that basically lets others take advantage of you. He tells me

all the time "Mom, you are way too good" which I always reply "I though that was a good thing". He says is not.

My father was the one who always told me if you can help someone, then do it. He himself was one that had the ability to forget those who did him wrong and just stand a hand to help them out. I kind on inherit that. The Mom-ster was also like that, the house we grew up was in the center of the city so everyone that was around that area stopped by because she would have extra food already cooked for extra people (n

ever mind she already had 6 kids).

There where several occasions in which friends and family stayed over when they didn't have a place to stay, some of them for weeks. So I learned to try to do my best to help others if I can, but lately even when is really hard for me, I still do it, no matter what.

I know the reason that my son {and my Hubs too} feel like I do too much for others, they take advantage of me, and when is my turn, more times than not, is not reciprocated. In the end I do it because people have done it for me, for us, in the past, because I remember those times when someone reach out to me when I needed it and I do not forget the landlord who split his rent when I was left living alone in a crappy apartment and how he even found me a car and bought it so I could go to work and let me pay him in biweekly installments.

I remember the friend that when I was alone and depressed dragged me to NYC so we can hang out, have dinner, watch a movie, all pay by him, just so I wouldn't sit alone the entire weekend (and we are still friends...they where visiting 2 weeks ago...and no, he never wanted anything else from me).

I have met some wonderful people willing to move me for free when I need it, people that when I was pregnant got out of their way bring me home made foods, gifts, etc.

And yes, I'm gonna be honest here, there are days when I have

to breath and realize that is ok if some people don't appreciate what I do, or those days when I just want to hang the towel and say screw it all, days when I feel defeated because someone else has taken advantage of my good nature and has let me down.... days in which it breaks my heart when someone has taken advantage of me, when they are really mean or worst...ungrateful.

but more times than not, I have people that remind me that doing good is the way to good, that kindness is still out there, that making someone smile makes all the difference.

In this time and age when I feel like everyone is fending for themselves, trying to get more, more, more for them, I know deep down my son will remember what I do and he will live by example, he would be a kind hearted man and would always remember that even when we didn't have for ourselves, we shared with others.

Lately I try my hardest to make a nice comment to the people I met: I love your makeup, your blouse, your nails, you have a beautiful smile... you cannot imagine the difference you see immediately in people when you make them smile. If I vista a place often I try to remember peoples names and when you say to a mechanic "Good Morning Carlos, how are you?" believe me, they treat you differently.

So I'll be like the Pastor Brown from "Coming to America" and say "if bing this good is wrong, then I don't want to be right!"

Arsenio Hall as Pastor Brown in "Coming to America'

Over & out

Disclaimer....

I am not perfect, a little bit on the mental side actually...but I do believe in paying it forward and never, ever intentionally hurting someone...except my former oldest sister 'cause that biatch has it coming.

you got it wrong...I think...or maybe not..

Hi people...I'm almost done with the Mom-ster's test and Doctors, and yes, there are days that I feel like a nurse. I've seen so many doctors offices, imaging, etc. to last me a life time. Then of course the hubs had a stress fracture on his left foot. Seriously I have seen every kind of Dr. possible lately. But considering how many people lost their life due to Irine, and we didn't even had flooding or loose power, I'm going to say I'm counting my blessings.

As you can see I'm still super busy, barely had time to see some old friends (as in we where 12 when we meet) that came down from NYC last night on their way to seeing DC. Our poor friend has Crohn's disease and to be honest he doesn't look too well.

Life is so short and we never know what hand we are going to get handed. I think from my last post people though I was ready to get a divorce. It is not the case. I love my Hubs and we both know this is something we will work out, we are fighters. Is not like he cheated on me, or beats me or has a drinking/gambling/drug problem. (I'm not judging).

I know everyone gets frustrated with their significant other, have never met anyone that doesn't and if you tell me you don't I won't believe you either. This is something that got me really aggravated and upset but certainly not something I will get a divorce.

I do agree that this is something he has to work out and only he can make those changes, that is

true. I just want to be the best support system I can be for him.

Hubs and I in NYC

Hope everyone is having a good we

ek, staying safe and healthy. We are going out shopping (AGAIN, and yes, I'm tired of it already) and to eat. This weekend will be great since we are planing on visiting Amish country!

See you guys soon

Over & out

I live in MD so Crabby it is!

This is my venting window and my now unofficial way of journaling, so please bare with me as I turn myself in to an annoying crabby woman...just for today...indulge me.

This weekend started so pleasant, Friday the Sis and her hubs where off from work so we decided to take a mini road trip to go shopping (an hour and a half away) with the parents. We loved it, my little guy did so well, and even though I missed my big guy and the Hubs-he was working- we had tons of fun and I found some good deals.

We are being hit with Hurricane Irene so we had plan to stay home. I was a little annoyed that I've already gone shopping, and even though the hubs knows my cholesterol is high, he purchased even more junk (how much you ask? we have 1 cake, 1 box of donuts, 2 bags of chips, 1 bag of doritos, 1 box of cookies, 2 tubs of ice cream, 2 jumbo size cookies and cream bars, and one dark milkyway) so maybe that started to get me annoyed.

It has been really stressful with my parents here, I don't mind them is just that my house looks like a mess, there is an air mattress permanently on our living room now for the big kid since my parents are in his room, there is tons more for me to do, appointments to go, cleaning, cooking, even more laundry, tolerating my Mom-ster constant humming, the yelling to my dad 'cause he can't hear, he looses things, she gets frazzle, the fact that he has packed his bags 3 times and asks to leave...*sigh*

I told the hubs last week that we needed to talk, that I needed more help around the house, he said we would talk about it when he returned and we never did. Now, don't get me wrong, he is a good guy, lay back,I know he loves me etc, etc, but I know that with his increasing weight the laziness is in a new high level- there is no other explanation. I know I'm at home all the time and I don't mind doing the chores but for Pete's sake why can he help out a bit?

If I don't tell him to bathe, change or feed the little guy he just doesn't even acknowledge it. Is like he knows it has to be done but he just assume I will do it. For the first time in ages I've been so tired I'm actually sleeping at night, a good change but seriously I need help. I can clear the kitchen only for him to put dirty dishes in the sink, not even bothering to just put him in the DW. Leaves clothes around, doesn't help pick up the kids messes and when he does it looks half assed. I know sitting in from of the computer or watching the game is so much more fun but tonight I just had enough.

I cooked and after dinner I asked him to bathe the little guy (mind you is already 9:00pm-you would think he knows this NEEDS to be done) and then I notice the kitchen is still a mess-his one and only chore these days. I ask him if he rather clean the kitchen and he says that he'll do it later...90% of the time he does and then the other 10 he falls asleep and I have to end up cleaning it at midnight.

I waited for half and hour and I just started cleaning it, then he waltzes in and says "I got it" really? I'm almost done and you got it?

I told him I need more help and if I ask him to help out I prefer if he helps then and not and hour later (mind you the baby still not bathed). As always, when I have a complaint he turns into a 13 yr old and wants to walk away and says whatever. I explained to him that he himself asked me to tell him when I need something because he "gets lazy" but when I do he gets mad, walks away and don't speak to me for days...lovely, I know.

I told him this attitude wont do and we will end up divorcing if he doesn't communicate- he said "bring the lawyer". I got so freaking mad I told him to get the F* out. not the best course of action but I was fuming already. I ended up cleaning the kitchen, bathing the baby and he refused to leave the bedroom so I could put the baby to sleep. Usually if he tries to put him to sleep he falls asleep before the kiddo and I ended up...you guessed it...having to do it myself.

Our last fight was also intense because he refused to acknowledge he is not doing anything to loose the weight, I actually had to include his Sister ( we where visiting in NYC) because he lies to everyone saying he is doing good when he is not. He was mad at me before that because he thinks I don't really know what he eats or do, but I do KNOW he has not lost 1 lb. I know he has to make a choice but he wont and his medical condition scares me.

And now the laziness, I know this is part of being married, I know everyone argues, I just feel like a freaking single person doing it all, I feel alone in this journey to get healthier- now how on earth am I ever gonna do it if he keeps getting crap?- I just wish he understand how stressed I am, how much work I do in the house, with the family. I feel that if we where dating he would make an effort but now he takes me and what I do for granted.

Does every woman at home feels this way? what can I do better? how can I get thru him?

I hope tomorrow will be better, since I have even more family coming for lunch. I know (hope) by Monday we will be ok, he will apologize, I will tell him I'm sorry too, and all will be well. I hope so...but for now I'm venting, I'm crabby and I wish I was a drinker because I feel like I need one.

Over & out

The Zoo, earthquake and my Dad

My Dad is also here visiting, and in his normal fashion he is ready to go home. He has never liked being here, he likes being back home, playing Dominos and watching Baseball on his big leather chair. And so yesterday, to do something different I decided we should go have a picnic at the Zoo

and yes, I do own a picnic basket, cause I'm cool like that. You would think the place was empty on a Tuesday but it was so freaking packed, like the last weekend in the summer was happening. No worries, we still had fun and enjoyed walking around.

The kicker came when we where in the reptile area, we see this huge lizard move his head really fast, which was a little odd, and then we felt it. The earthquake got us there. To me it was not a big deal but people around here panicked a lot( I think they said it was 3.8). The downer was that they closed most of the animal viewing areas and eventually evacuated the Zoo, but overall we had a nice day...the traffic coming home, not so much.

My Little guy served as tour guide, and boy did he enjoyed the cooling mist

This was one of the little guy's favorite animals "Tiger, tiger, roar, roar- thanks Kai-lan"

My poor Dad it's having a hard time here, half the time he doesn't realize where he is, he forgets to shower so we have to remind him. After being a week here he said he finally realized he was at my house and "oh, no wonder your Mom felt so comfortable". If I go out he greets me like he just so me for the first time in ages. But overall we have to be thankful that physically he is still very healthy, he still remember my boys, specially the oldest.

Is just something we have to deal every day and is hard because my Mom has no patience. But she is learning...SLOWLY.

In good Fashion, my Mom and I are going shopping today. I need to get a dress for a wedding- OH and I got my new glasses...pictures soon.

Whats new with you?

Over & out

Yay weekend

Dad , me and the little guy, last year.

Uff, am I the only one exhausted?

I told my Mom I've work harder being at home than any where else I worked for pay before in my life. The thing is when she asked me if I rather be working I honestly smile and said no, I much rather be home.

Yes, I don't get to dress up in the morning or put full on make up, there are no lunch meetings, Christmas Bonuses, people to talk to, feeling "important" because you knew things, knew your job well, people rely on you and all that, but when I see my little guy drop grapes on the floor and he looks up at me and says "I'm sourry mummy" and know he means it , it melts my heart.

I've been able to teach him to count, to name animals, to find the moon at night, to find his nose, eyes, ears, to sing, to share. He has probably taught me even more in this past year (almost a year, can you believe it?) he laughs out loud for the silliest things, loves his brother to no end. Gives me his drooled cover cookies and tells me he loves me. No money can compare to that. Its silly and over stated that I have to implied I love my kids, but I do.

Even spending time with the Mom-ster and my Dad has been so nice, the little guy is already use to them being home, he jumps in bed with them and cuddles, I watch baseball games with my Dad, I'm actually setting the table each day to eat as a family as opposed to sitting in front of the TV. Ahhhhhhhhh it feels nice.

I finished the majority of my test, which let me tell you, the blood work hurt afterwards so much more than the Mammogram (have you had one? go get one!). And now I'm doing a heck of a lot of other appointments for my mom-ster...(oh and getting new glasses for me).

Next week there will be some shopping, that should be interesting. (by the way Urban Decay is having a huge sale -even loose pigments for $1!) Yeah, I got me some :)

This week was over whelming with appointments and at times I wanted to scream on how messy the house was: my parents are a little messy in their old age, my oldest decided to put an air mattress in the living room so he and the little guy could lay down...and then I say to myself:

WHO CARES!?

We are all together, this is the stuff my kids are going to remember, the fun they had, the stuff we did. And like I read some where: my kids are only going to have one childhood, make it a good one.

Over & out

The Witch with a B

I already knew this week was going to be hectic, after all my parents are here, I have tons of medical test to do {nothing major}, the little guy has appointments, then my mother, then the bank. Thankfully we had an awesome weekend in NYC again - but remind me to never again travel on Saturday, I like my Friday nights.

above Bubba enjoying the drizzle in the park, below is what seems to be a replica of the Haunted Mansion...

Is actually the Van Cortlandt House {is inside the park}

The Baby Shower was not what I expected since people where late, tables where late, decor was not what I had in mind, but we all had a great time with family and that is more important.

My Parents flight got super dupper delayed so we stayed an extra night in NYC.

Now to the tittle of this post: now my parents came to see my Brother {who's ill} but also for some legal issues (because it involves the government I cannot say exactly what it is). It was confirmed that parasite that is my older Sister was the one who actually cause this trouble for my parents. My poor Mom-ster starred crying right there in the office, shaking her head, saying she could not believe she was so mean. I, on the other hand, stated hyperventilating and ready to punch the living crap out of her.

Is a good thing the chicken shit that she is she moved 6 hours away (my family has no contact with her after she moved at the beginning of this month, the rumor is that she is on vacation in Asia- if there is fairness in the world I hope she gets thrown in jail while she is there) Seeing my mother so distress just made me furious, is something to have some friendly diatribe with her all the time and other to jeopardize my parents livelihood just to be a despicable human been. If she was still in NJ I would be driving there to kick her ass and show her some respect. (YES I believe this case calls for violence) and I hope never to see here because I don't know what I would do to her.

Thankfully I was able to resolve the major issue with my Parents, I will keep doing the best I can for them. Now I'm off for a walk with my Dad (who didn't know he was in my house and almost had a panic attack because he didn't know where he was...but he remembers my son ).

Days like today remind me is so nice to have good family around, and then they are the assholes you wish you where never related to.

Over & out