So, you are still here... Well here we go. This is just me rambling at almost 2am( profanity included, you have been warned)
So I've been absent. For a while.
Partly because I seriously did not have anything earth moving to share,all is the same. Same job, same husband, same crazy nail polish hoarding.
Somethings have change a bit.
I discovered I'm jealous. Not in a mean-I-want-to-take-your-shit, but more on the yeah, I'm jealous and I wish I could do, buy, post what you have kind of thing.
I've also discovered that I have anger issues. I'm astounded by e amount of fake people around me. I'm mad I let my guard down, I'm mad that I care so much. I'm mad that I let it affect me.
I don't want to be a bitter person, I want to live my life, enjoy it to the fullest but the anger keeps creeping in. Even when I make it a goal not to care...here I am, with my bastard heart, caring again and getting my feelings hurt.
And no, is not the Husband.
I know I cannot change people, so all I can do is move forward and understand that some individuals are NOT as amazing as you thought they where. That I have the power to let it affect me or to move on.
I just don't fucking want to care anymore.
I want to se these fake ass people, pretending to care and yet doing the heck of a great job of being assholes, and not care.
I want to be able to tell them in their face, in a calm and respectful matter " hey, I think you are an ass, I think what you do is wrong, so please spared me the shock look when I don't speak to you and ask me a hundred times if I'm mad, because...why are you asking? Obviously you know you did something wrong and now you want to play coy. So excuse me if I no longer buy into your bullshit anymore. Fuck off."
I just think it's too long so I have to tweak it a bit.
There...I think that's enough ranting for one night.
If you are still reading...I am going to try to write more about NYC, what is really like living here (let me tell you, the whole visiting the hottest spots, the shopping and the whole Carrie Bradshaw idea of New York is NOT how most of us live.
New York can be lonely.
I'll be back soon...
Over & out