Monday, November 15, 2010

How to Marry the {im}Perfect guy

The tittle got you, uh?
I know, I'm evil. Let me preface by saying that I love my Hubs more than anything, he is my best friend and the imperfect man...made just for me.

Lately I see so many friends, friends or friends, girls in the family, people you read about, etc. all looking for one thing: Love. When most people think that a career, money, materialistic things will bring you happiness when in reality is the other way around. The hubs and I met in our early 20's. Both not ready to commit, both going to college so we drifted apart. He went his way, dating, even getting engaged. I did the same.

I got to blame Disney and every other romantic comedy for the frustration of many women, me included. You are thrown into the world thinking the "perfect guy" is around the corner. He is going to be tall, handsome, have a great job, say the right thing, do the right thing. He is going to be strong but sweet and he is going to sweep you off your feet.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. wrong answer.
You go out there in the dating world looking for perfection when you are not perfect yourself. So many times I see women passing nice guys because they where not the ideal man. I dated a WHOLE bunch of losers thinking they where the right match. The perfect package doesn't exist. If that was true why is Jennifer Aniston single? or Holy Berry? These are beautiful, amazing, successful women that have everything going on for them. Or so you would think.

I dated quite a lot (unfortunately) but that made me ready to receive the love of an honest man that adores me. Here are my list of things to NOT look for:

OK hear me out. I think my hubs is a hunk- not Brad Pitt, but then again I don't like Brad Pitt. What I mean don't let a good guy go because he has a slightly crooked smile, a little over weight, has the most gawd awful collection of shirts. All those things can get improved. A bad personality can't.

2. Money.
We all want stability but in this time an age aim for hardworking. No one likes a lazy bum but also I don't want a guy that prefers to have dinner in the office and comes home when the kids are already asleep. I've dated guys with money and believe me, they can be so cheap (like not paying for my movie ticket and popcorn-cheap). A hardworking man is willing to work for his family and be there for you. If he has an amazing job all the better but don't dismissed a blue collar guy.

3. Perfection.
You are not perfect (I am though-lets get that clear *wink*) so don't expect him to be. There is different levels and only you know what things are important to you and what things you can let go off. For me being an OCD neat freak sometimes is hard to get that my family is not, but I can live with that. Hubs doesn't cook AT ALL, but he will clean the kitchen for me.
See what kinds of things you can live with (his pet rock collection) or which one's you can't (if he is a smoker, drinker, gambler,etc)

Try most of all to find someone you can talk to, beauty will fade with time; look for someone that can make even the worst times better. Someone who is willing to take care of you when you are sick. Once I dated someone who will leave me in my house and go out, not caring at all how I felt because "they didn't want to get sick" with my germs. The hubs cleaned after me for 40 weeks while I was pregnant, and let me tell you there is nothing nastier than cleaning vomit.

When the hubs and I reconnected again we both where different, both physically and emotionally. We grown to be better individuals willing to commit to an honest person. We learn the Shakira look a like may be pretty but may not have anything worthy to say. I learn that no matter how charming a guy can pretend to be, he can have some serious issues.

And here is a hint: people don't change, you can make them change. If he doesn't want commitment or kids don't go out there saying "Oh- you'll see, he will change" because chances are he wont. I am not saying you should settle or lower your standards, but to look pass the surface and realize perfection does not exist.

Who cares if he puts the toilet paper under-even though everyone KNOWS is over. If he leaves his shorts on the floor is ok, that he snores like a big grizzly bear, or that he parks a little crooked, that he makes a mess of water over the sink or that he doesn't know how to cook (or make coffee for that matter).

He is the guy that takes care of me, that brings me Hershey's cookies & cream because he knows I need it, the guy that bathes his baby and changes even the dirtiest diaper. A guy that listens to my girly talks about makeup and nails and pretends to get exited when I do over a nail polish, a guy who knows who my favorite author is and will spent an entire Sunday in bed with me watching Monk.

My guy is imperfect. And he was PERFECTLY made for me!

Over & out

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