Sunday, November 21, 2010
There goes my life
If you are a little bit country you may recognized those words from Mr. Kenny Chesney. I've been feeling a little bit country. Wanting more family time, wanting to do more baking (even if it's semi-home made), feeling that we all have to go back to beginning.
My beginning was pretty much the Lyrics of song:
All he could think about was I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell I'm just a kid myself. How'm I gonna raise one.
All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well, those plans are long gone.
And he said, There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye. There goes my life.......
A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.
Only in my case it was a little boy :)
A little boy that I missed so much when I left the homeland to come here, looking for a different life, a new beginning, and mostly running away from the Mom-ster. He was almost 7 when I came here and he just finally came to be with me...he is 18. He has all the characteristics of an 18 yr old thinking he knows it all, but he also has the maturity of someone who grown up so fast. He and I take alone drives often, I figure he can jump out of the car when I start asking awkward questions. The other day he was the one asking me questions. He look at me and he said "it hurts you that you missed so much of my life doesn't it?" and I reply with teary eyes that it does. He said to me " don't worry ma', it was for the best and I'm here now. I had a good childhood, and a great education, I love Dad (my dad-he also calls him Dad) and I got time with him".
When did he get so smart? I love that boy. Even if he doesn't put the dishes away some times or doesn't like making his bed. I love him even thought he has 23 Frapuccino bottles on top of his dresser (he washes them though) who knows for what.
Now more than ever I don't want to miss Aiden's life either. I want to enjoy both my kids, see them grow, watch as Aiden learns to sing, play hide and seek screaming "got'cha", see how Alain adapts to his college days, maybe meet a girl. I want to be there. I want to take it all in, after all they grow so fast. A few years back Alain was my little boy that needed to hold my hand, now he is off to college soon. Sometimes being home, making a home, baking and cooking, playing and singing, is where I need to be.
And like Kenny sings:
He smiles..... There goes my life. There goes my future, my everything. I love you, daddy good-night. There goes my life.
Over & out