Because I said so

Some of my favorite bloggers are those who disclose their life when they are running hammock and when life is not picture perfect. I tend to stay away from blogs about look-at-my-perfect-life-with-my-perfect-kids-in my perfect white couch. I hate those. That is not realistic. And if you are one of those I have to say that sorry, I don't believe you.

Life is chaotic, and messy, and fun, and stressful.There are blissful days and days that I just want the day to over so I can rest. It has just been one of those days. I love my kids, I love being a SAHM, I seriously do, but there are days when you just want to scream.

Today there where some issues that where happening in the morning, that combined to my conversation last night with my ill brother, who is all alone, battling Stage IV Colon cancer, eating a McD's Dollar menu items while sitting in his car, in front of the river, by himself...it was just sad. So today was already a not so fun day, but I had my positive attitude on, I carried on, I dropped/picked up people, I did some laundry, organize the house a bit, manage to get the kid to nap. But let me tell you, my baby, my little angel, this little precious child

has been driving me bonkers lately.

He is a good boy and most of the time I have no complains but lately he has this really annoying habit of crying like someone is murdering him if you don't do what he wants right away. No, he is not throwing a tantrum, is more like this:

I'm making dinner, chopping things away and he is in the living room, with his cartoons on the TV, Dinosaur King on the computer, and his favorite snacks on hand (grapes and strawberries). Well, Dinosaur king ended and he wanted me to select a new one from youtube. I told him to please wait and he started crying, like a sad cry and running to get his brother. Now when he gets like this I've tried talking to him, sitting him down, etc. but then he cries even louder.

He cries like this : waaaaaaaaaaa, I'M SORRY MOMMY, I'M SOOOOORRRY....
to the outside it may sound like someone is torturing this child with nail clippers and he is begging me for me to stop. EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

there is nothing I do that makes him stop, so today I lost it, I screamed at him so loud I was embarrased afterwards for loosing my temper like that. I said "ENOUGH AIDEN,I HAD ENOUGH! STOP CRYING OR I'LL PUT YOU ON TIME OUT, SHUT IT.RIGHT.NOOOOOOW!

He got so scared, but let me tell you he calmed down. I was not proud of myself but sometimes I think your children challenge you to see how far they can go. After that he play in peace and even came to the kitchen to ask me what I was doing.

This is NOT how I want to discipline my almost three year old, this is not the kind of thing I want to do or the kind of Mother I want my kids to remember. I felt so bad afterwards...
then I remember that I am his Mom, that I am the one in charge, that sometimes a good scream is what they need to know you mean business.

I am a Mother, not his friend. I want to inspire love, but also respect. So I took a breather and calm down and realize that good mothers are human too.

Over & out