Now hear me out. I am not a scene maker of any sorts. I don't like drama and if you choose to leave, then don't let the door hit you in the back. That said I do believe in violence...sort of. I believe that is someone is annoying me enough or trying to hurt my family, they deserve a smack down. I believe a spanking on time would prevent a lot of issues later on.
But my post tittle comes from specifically cheating husbands. Now I am a very lenient person, I believe everyone deserves a second chance...I do. I believe that you have to work hard for your marriage. Fortunately, I haven't gone thru this so I may have a different view if it happened to me. Of course I have my share of cheating Boyfriends (see Adventures in Dating) but I dont think is the same when you are married.
Unfortunately, I known a few people currently in this situation. I know both sides (the ignorant Wife and the cheating Husband) and I'm sorry, but I have to say I understand why someone would be so irate/mad/crazy to actually ran over her cheating husband. And then back up...you know, just in case.
Take my friend "Barbie"* for example. I'm going to try to give the short versions here.
Barbie had been married for 10 years, had two kids, had a nice home. When she started dating her Husband she was attending college and he was doing nothing -well, not nothing, he was a delivery guy for a water cooler Co. After they got married she continued her education and encourage him to do the same. She graduated with a BS and so did he. They made lots of sacrifices but things where finally paying off.
He found a Managing position in a Bank and they both were doing very well. The she started noticing things about him and found a text from the other woman/girl...they are in their mid 30's the "woman" is 22. She decided to talk it out, to work at it and he said he was going to end it, that he loved her and that he didnt want to loose his family. They work at it for a year, even went on a cruise to try to get away. But she said she felt something was off still and told him maybe they needed more time to work it out. He agreed.
So here is my friend thinking they are trying to work things out, and one day he was ordering pizza online (they each had their own bank accounts) when he went out to get the pizza she was able to log in and saw all the charges from motels...he was still with this woman.
My friend is trying to divorce him (trying because he doesn't want to) she kicked him out and he still begs to come home, but guess what he did? he rented an apartment and moved the girl in and her 2 kids with him...and still tells my friend he loves her and he cant wait to be together again. HA!
The funny part is that he's spending a lot of money on this woman and then is refusing to give my friend the agreed money for his own kids. All he has, he has because of my friend. A friend that is not struggling to keep a mortgage and her family afloat. She was always there for him and his family and now he wont let her move on and is making her struggle.
Now all that they work for its going to this...BIMBO...UGH, so not fair.
Then I have a male friend "Thomas"*. He came to this country with no nothing and met and married his wife that basically helped him out. He is a business man and did very, very well... we are talking Millions-well. He unfortunately learn that women are attaracted to wealth and he has become a womanizer, he had been cheating on his Wife forever.
Even though they had issues, she stayed with him. They had a family...or so she though. Of course one day he decided he would traded her in for another model. He left her with their kids and now he has made her sign a contract that he is only paying for the house for 5 years and the kids daycare. In 2 years she would have to figure out how to pay for this house (she does work but doesn't make enough to pay all the house bills, food and then the mortgage) or she will loose the house.
When they where married, I know he gave her a lavish confortable life...trips to Europe, new cars, big house, etc.
He is my friend, not her. And when she asks him for money he complains all the time. I told him give her the darn money, she is the one taking care of the childre, waking up to take care of them when they get sick, comforts them. His answer was "she should just give them to me". I wanted to smack the crap out of him right there and then. Seriously the nerve. I told him they are not puppies or kittens; and just because you make more money it does not mean they would be better with you.He doesn't see the point in helping maintain his own kids in the house they grew up, near friends and family. But has the new woman (he has not marry her) enjoying all the benefits, having a maid for her, going on expensive vacations, driving nice cars, etc. All the things that his ex helped him achieve.
He doesn't see that he should be grateful that his ex-wife helped him build what he has now. She was there when he had nothing and was a nobody. He says she should have been tending to him on hand and foot and making sure the food and a warm bath would be ready when he got home. That if he didn't want what she cook that day, she should have made another meal from scratch. He though he had a slave not a wife.
It irritates me to no end that these men married good women that help them achieve their goals and then went and got with some gold diggers that are ripping the benefits of these women hard work.
I try my hardest to be an attentive wife, I cook dinner and set the table and even serve my husband. That's how I was raised. I do it because I want to and because he does not expects this.
I do it because my husband spend almost 10 months cleaning my vomit from the floor and cleaning after me while I was pregnant. Because when I don't feel well, he would get dressed after laying in bed and go get me whatever it is I need, let it be medicine or ice cream. Because he rubs my feet without me asking him, because he is a great Father. But I'll be dammed to hell if a man is going to treat me as a door mat because he has money.
I think men forget how they got where they are, they are blinded in thinking that these women find them attractive and don't see them just as a walking wallet (hellluuuuuuuu Donald Trump- did you get this memo?. Stupid naive men.
I can just imagine the though going thru Clara Harris mind...I worked so hard and he is going to leave me? I can imagine the rage. Do I think what she did was right? No, but I can see why it happened. (Lorena, I'm with you too!)
I see beautiful, succesful women out there like Sandra Bullock and think, what Would I Do?
Should I just work at it and pretend it didnt happen? Would it drive me crazy every time he goes out cause I'll think he is cheating again? Would I be like Miranda in "Sex & the City" and just realize maybe I also was at fault?
Would I do Like Clara or Lorena? absolutely not. But you better believe I will be taking a chunk of his money, and maybe, just maybe...make his life a little hell.
Now let me call the hubs and tell him I love him.
Over & Out
* names have been change to protect the innocent