Wednesday, June 9, 2010

R: "I need something" -L: "you mean I love you Mommy"- R:"yeah, thats what I said"

Above: Anne Rice's former home

Growing up with 5 siblings and a crazy Mom-nster was a lot of fun. I have so many stories and memories to tell. My friends laugh when I tell them some of the things we had to endure as kids. They are funny now but back then...well, lets just say that I ran away from home when I was 15.

Oh, don't get scare...I went to live with one of my older sister's. Mom was furious, Dad was sad. I just never clicked with my Mom. You know those girls that talk about how their Mom is their best friend and how much they love hanging with them? yeah, that was so not me.

I actually hated my Mom-ster. And I mean it as in having-nightmares-about-her hate. She seemed almost cruel to me. why would you put a 10yr old to clean some stupid nick knacks while propped in a chair and when she broke something she got slap...senseless. Or ask us to do something you knew we couldn't possibly do, or we will do wrong only to have us kneel in the patio, in the sun, in the middle of the summer, with Arms open, and if we put them down we got hit with a belt...see? cruel.

When I had my first child was when I questioned her the most. I could never in a million years think of giving my child those kind of punishments, ever. Yes, I believe in spanking. YesI believe your child should be just a tad a afraid of you, enough to prevent them from doing some stupid shit because they think you may actually kill them.

I did a lot of silly stuff growing up: cut class to meet with friends or the boyfriend, lie about having to do homework, say I was going to be somewhere only to disappear to another place. but I never smoke, never drank (actually I've never been drunk in my life and I'm turning 35 this year); have never done drugs of any kind. I knew with any of these things there was a sure guarantee I would get dismembered. Yes, I got pregnant, but that's because I was stupid and no one had ever bother to explain what a period was let alone any sex education. But it was my bad and I take full responsibility for it.

All my life I tried to see if there was a way for me and the Mom-nster to get along. We only seem to be ok with each other when I'm pregnant. Somehow her mother bear instincts come to full effect. I always though she hated me. After all, she said some cruel stuff to me growing up...something to the effect of me being worst than a lady of the night...hehehe. I think is funny.

Anyways, now in my old ripe age of almost 35 I came to realize this woman didn't know any better. She just did as she was told and tried to raise 6 almost normal individuals. My father was in sales and was away most of the time. She was a SAHM of one point she had a her kids ages 16, 13, 11, 10, 2 and 1. Yeah, I think it would make anyone pull their hair out.

I finally realize that I needed to get over the "bad" memories and remember all the stuff she did for us. All the cooking, all the caring when we got sick, three hot meals I never had fast food until I was an adult, except for pizza. She always knew what to do when we got hurt. She always took care of us and then some other kids that needed tending to: My nephews, my cousin's daughter, etc.

I remember some many relatives stopped at our house at lunch time all the time 'cause they knew my Mom always cooked and had extra for people all the time. I remember a lot of people though she was/is really funny. She is also very very loud. She is larger than life actually. She is very opinionated and strong willed. She is also the kind of sister that will go to the rescue for any of her siblings...let it be with money so one can have surgery, or time to see the widow of her brother, or the car driver when people come to town, or the presence every week to see her ailing sister...even though she can't speak and doesn't know who my Mom-ster is... It doesn't matter to her, she is always there.

I think the thing that I appreciate the most about her is the fact that (with the exception of one crazy Sister) she created really strong individuals. We are selfless and care about other's needs. We know the world doesn't revolve around us. We are concern about being the best we can be and we also have a moral compass (mine is twisted but I have it).

I see so many parents these days, giving in to their kids every desire and whim, telling them they are SO SPECIAL. Well, if we are all special them no one truly is. Being mediocre is acceptable. Not doing your best is ok. Why is that?

I was always told to do my best, try to be good. We got presents on Christmas and Birthdays and when our grades showed our hard work. We where not bought the latest invention just because a kid in school had them. Things where earned.

Unfortunately I didn't inherit her knack for good finances, that one was left of my gene pool. Ah, is ok. She taught me a lot more: to keep a home, to do laundry, to be a decent wife, to care for others, to help those around me if I can. And yes, with the bad I learn how I want my kids to remember me, the kind of memories I want to build for and with them. But I also know now to have compassion and love for a crazy 72 year old woman, who is OCD about cleaning, who still cooks everyday, who has raised my son into a fine young man, who has tried, to the best of her abilities to be there for us.

Here is to you Mom-ster...I don't hate you anymore :)

Over & out
P.S: Pictures are of New Orleans...the city I fell in love with and where I plan to retire one day!

1 comment:

Just Charming said...

I think we all have stories about our parents :), but yours really sounds like she was tough on you. It's good that you can see the positive influences she had on you even though she was hard on you.

I love your pictures of Louisiana. I hope to go there some day :). I lived in Florida for awhile, but never made it there. Now I live too far for a weekend getaway! shucks!