Thursday, September 23, 2010

The tale of water and the toxic crew

NO, I did not get water poisoning.

But I wanna take a moment to say I didn't know how hard it was to drink water. Seriously.

I committed myself to drinking 8 glasses a day (or 4 16oz bottles) and I can only make it to 3 bottles. This is way harder than I though it would be. But I've been trying really hard. I packed my lunch all 3 days so far, brought in healthy snacks, like the diced green apples with dipping caramel @ Walmart for $1 and only 100 calories!!!. I Know I can probably do this myself but in actuality I will probably pack way too much caramel so I rather have this measured for me. Other snacks are cheese cubes and crackers, and grapes. Much better than my 3 o'clock chocolate bar.

Baby steps here. I went to our local Target to get Milk and saw they had the Pepperidge Farm cookies on sale- KILL ME NOW- seriously Verona's are amazing. I had to ask the hubs to hold my hand and drag me out of there fast. But I did it. And I haven't had chocolate cake either.
Every time I see it I tell myself how good it would feel to be 30lbs lighter. Am I never gonna have sweets or a cookie again? No, I will. Just not right now. I'm not ready for it. I don't have the will power to only have 1 cookie. In the other hand I have a meal plan that will include lots of salads and veggies, and perhaps packing my dinner because eating at 9pm is not a healthy choice.

And switching gears about choices...there is other healthy choices that have nothing to do with food. Getting rid of the "junk" that clutters your life. Sometimes that junk can be a person.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the toxic people that we all have in our lives. You know what I'm talking about: those who always find some unkind word or gesture towards you. Those who instead of extending their hands to help you, are opening their palms to slap you...right across the face. Toxic people seemed to always go by the label of "Honest"...have you noticed that?

Its like it gives them a blank card to be rude and obnoxious, cruel and despot. They think they have every right to shut your dreams, tell you how stupid, ignorant, silly you are. They think they are better than you and you just have to take it. Toxic people can disguised themselves as friends too. But eventually you will see the jealousy coming thru. Another form of toxic people are does that suck the energy from your life, they are so negative that there is no way to fight the doom and gloom. You just feel bad all over.

I have met my share of these kinds of people. One of them was my oldest Sister. I haven't spoken to her in almost 2 yrs and I don't intent to. I hate that people always makes an excuse for her saying things like "you know, that's just who she is", "she has always been like that", well no more.

I finally learned that I do not have to take it, that I could break from the vicious circle and be free. It took a HUGE ordeal and her putting my health in jeopardy while I was pregnant for me to break loose. I'm Free from the insults, the putting down words, the criticism, the lack of moral support. I am free of her drama and I do not miss her one bit. I think that's the saddest part.

The Kid (oldest) asked me if I will ever forgive her if she apologizes and the answer was no. I feel so much better about my life now that she is out of it. Just because we are related doesn't mean I have to allow that person to keep poisoning my life.

I still have some toxic people around me, I believe we all have, perhaps not as bad as her but those I can control and distance myself from. Those are easily recognizable toxics that can be kept at bay. Life should be enjoyed to the max. And hecks, sometimes all you need to clean your fridge and your life.

Over & Out

P.S another look at my wonderful new boots!!! (am I a dork or what?)


Struggler said...

Your healthy snacks sound great (I'm huge on snacking, so can totally empathize). Toxic people, well, that's really tough. I'm fortunate to have a great family, but I think if you're not quite so lucky, there's no point sticking around folk who make you feel blue.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand drinking water. BUT. I can drink like, gallons of my crystal light peach tea, which is just flavored water. I highly recommend giving it a try!!

.ambre. @ We Are Of The Day said...

Love the boots! I know I am new here and may not have earned the right to "speak my mind" yet, but I felt led to share: you said you would not forgive your sister. If that's what you truly meant, then allow me to encourage you to rethink your stance. From personal experience I know that NOT forgiving someone will lead to bitterness which is often even MORE toxic then what was done to you. You can forgive her without allowing her back into your life...