I live in MD so Crabby it is!

This is my venting window and my now unofficial way of journaling, so please bare with me as I turn myself in to an annoying crabby woman...just for today...indulge me.

This weekend started so pleasant, Friday the Sis and her hubs where off from work so we decided to take a mini road trip to go shopping (an hour and a half away) with the parents. We loved it, my little guy did so well, and even though I missed my big guy and the Hubs-he was working- we had tons of fun and I found some good deals.

We are being hit with Hurricane Irene so we had plan to stay home. I was a little annoyed that I've already gone shopping, and even though the hubs knows my cholesterol is high, he purchased even more junk (how much you ask? we have 1 cake, 1 box of donuts, 2 bags of chips, 1 bag of doritos, 1 box of cookies, 2 tubs of ice cream, 2 jumbo size cookies and cream bars, and one dark milkyway) so maybe that started to get me annoyed.

It has been really stressful with my parents here, I don't mind them is just that my house looks like a mess, there is an air mattress permanently on our living room now for the big kid since my parents are in his room, there is tons more for me to do, appointments to go, cleaning, cooking, even more laundry, tolerating my Mom-ster constant humming, the yelling to my dad 'cause he can't hear, he looses things, she gets frazzle, the fact that he has packed his bags 3 times and asks to leave...*sigh*

I told the hubs last week that we needed to talk, that I needed more help around the house, he said we would talk about it when he returned and we never did. Now, don't get me wrong, he is a good guy, lay back,I know he loves me etc, etc, but I know that with his increasing weight the laziness is in a new high level- there is no other explanation. I know I'm at home all the time and I don't mind doing the chores but for Pete's sake why can he help out a bit?

If I don't tell him to bathe, change or feed the little guy he just doesn't even acknowledge it. Is like he knows it has to be done but he just assume I will do it. For the first time in ages I've been so tired I'm actually sleeping at night, a good change but seriously I need help. I can clear the kitchen only for him to put dirty dishes in the sink, not even bothering to just put him in the DW. Leaves clothes around, doesn't help pick up the kids messes and when he does it looks half assed. I know sitting in from of the computer or watching the game is so much more fun but tonight I just had enough.

I cooked and after dinner I asked him to bathe the little guy (mind you is already 9:00pm-you would think he knows this NEEDS to be done) and then I notice the kitchen is still a mess-his one and only chore these days. I ask him if he rather clean the kitchen and he says that he'll do it later...90% of the time he does and then the other 10 he falls asleep and I have to end up cleaning it at midnight.

I waited for half and hour and I just started cleaning it, then he waltzes in and says "I got it" really? I'm almost done and you got it?

I told him I need more help and if I ask him to help out I prefer if he helps then and not and hour later (mind you the baby still not bathed). As always, when I have a complaint he turns into a 13 yr old and wants to walk away and says whatever. I explained to him that he himself asked me to tell him when I need something because he "gets lazy" but when I do he gets mad, walks away and don't speak to me for days...lovely, I know.

I told him this attitude wont do and we will end up divorcing if he doesn't communicate- he said "bring the lawyer". I got so freaking mad I told him to get the F* out. not the best course of action but I was fuming already. I ended up cleaning the kitchen, bathing the baby and he refused to leave the bedroom so I could put the baby to sleep. Usually if he tries to put him to sleep he falls asleep before the kiddo and I ended up...you guessed it...having to do it myself.

Our last fight was also intense because he refused to acknowledge he is not doing anything to loose the weight, I actually had to include his Sister ( we where visiting in NYC) because he lies to everyone saying he is doing good when he is not. He was mad at me before that because he thinks I don't really know what he eats or do, but I do KNOW he has not lost 1 lb. I know he has to make a choice but he wont and his medical condition scares me.

And now the laziness, I know this is part of being married, I know everyone argues, I just feel like a freaking single person doing it all, I feel alone in this journey to get healthier- now how on earth am I ever gonna do it if he keeps getting crap?- I just wish he understand how stressed I am, how much work I do in the house, with the family. I feel that if we where dating he would make an effort but now he takes me and what I do for granted.

Does every woman at home feels this way? what can I do better? how can I get thru him?

I hope tomorrow will be better, since I have even more family coming for lunch. I know (hope) by Monday we will be ok, he will apologize, I will tell him I'm sorry too, and all will be well. I hope so...but for now I'm venting, I'm crabby and I wish I was a drinker because I feel like I need one.

Over & out