Saturday, September 17, 2011

I'm good so...that's bad?

The conversation about being good, or rather too good, has come up more than once around here. Our oldest seems to think I'm kind of a "pendejo" which is someone that basically lets others take advantage of you. He tells me

all the time "Mom, you are way too good" which I always reply "I though that was a good thing". He says is not.

My father was the one who always told me if you can help someone, then do it. He himself was one that had the ability to forget those who did him wrong and just stand a hand to help them out. I kind on inherit that. The Mom-ster was also like that, the house we grew up was in the center of the city so everyone that was around that area stopped by because she would have extra food already cooked for extra people (n
ever mind she already had 6 kids).

There where several occasions in which friends and family stayed over when they didn't have a place to stay, some of them for weeks. So I learned to try to do my best to help others if I can, but lately even when is really hard for me, I still do it, no matter what.

I know the reason that my son {and my Hubs too} feel like I do too much for others, they take advantage of me, and when is my turn, more times than not, is not reciprocated. In the end I do it because people have done it for me, for us, in the past, because I remember those times when someone reach out to me when I needed it and I do not forget the landlord who split his rent when I was left living alone in a crappy apartment and how he even found me a car and bought it so I could go to work and let me pay him in biweekly installments.

I remember the friend that when I was alone and depressed dragged me to NYC so we can hang out, have dinner, watch a movie, all pay by him, just so I wouldn't sit alone the entire weekend (and we are still friends...they where visiting 2 weeks ago...and no, he never wanted anything else from me).

I have met some wonderful people willing to move me for free when I need it, people that when I was pregnant got out of their way bring me home made foods, gifts, etc.

And yes, I'm gonna be honest here, there are days when I have
to breath and realize that is ok if some people don't appreciate what I do, or those days when I just want to hang the towel and say screw it all, days when I feel defeated because someone else has taken advantage of my good nature and has let me down.... days in which it breaks my heart when someone has taken advantage of me, when they are really mean or worst...ungrateful.

but more times than not, I have people that remind me that doing good is the way to good, that kindness is still out there, that making someone smile makes all the difference.

In this time and age when I feel like everyone is fending for themselves, trying to get more, more, more for them, I know deep down my son will remember what I do and he will live by example, he would be a kind hearted man and would always remember that even when we didn't have for ourselves, we shared with others.

Lately I try my hardest to make a nice comment to the people I met: I love your makeup, your blouse, your nails, you have a beautiful smile... you cannot imagine the difference you see immediately in people when you make them smile. If I vista a place often I try to remember peoples names and when you say to a mechanic "Good Morning Carlos, how are you?" believe me, they treat you differently.

So I'll be like the Pastor Brown from "Coming to America" and say "if bing this good is wrong, then I don't want to be right!"

Arsenio Hall as Pastor Brown in "Coming to America'

Over & out

I am not perfect, a little bit on the mental side actually...but I do believe in paying it forward and never, ever intentionally hurting someone...except my former oldest sister 'cause that biatch has it coming.


affectionforfitness said...

Hi! I am like that too, for the very same reasons. Yesterday, my husband raised up the story of a single mom ringing the door bell of our home to get bus money for a job interview. I told her that I would give her the bus money to the interview, but she would have to figure out the way home. A few months later, she rung the door bell and told me that she had gotten that job and thanked me, but did not pay me back. Such are those kind of people. Maybe that $1.75 made more difference than most things I do.

Maybe it is gullible, but maybe it's just making the world a little bit kinder.

I also have the one nemesis--my mother-in-law. She is extremely mean and must be treated accordingly so that she never wants to move back into my house again! Merely for protective purposes.

:-) Marion

AndreaLeigh said...

i walk a fine line with this. I've been burned so much that it has changed me and I think I'm more selfish and less giving now. I'm just tired of people taking advantage of me. I kind of wish I was still that girl who gave to everyone.