Friday, February 18, 2011

HEAVY- a rambling of sorts

Have you seen this show HEAVY on A&E? It is so amazing to me what people can do if they get their mind to it. I sure hope that all participants keep their weight loss. This is a journey and a hard one that we certainly need to keep on everyday.

It seems to me that we as humans are always looking for something to make us hap
py. Some times is a partner, some times is to loose/gain weight, some times is a better job. Everyday we tell our selves: "I'll be happier if I had more money, if I loose weight, if I find a boy/girlfriend" when the fact is we need to make ourselves happy first and the rest will come.

Gosh, that almost sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I believe that weight gain has a lot to do with emotions. We eat when we are happy, when we are lonely, when we have a broken heart, when we celebrate, when we are stressed. I know that some people around me may have the weight I would dream to have, but they are also looking to finally get marry, to have kids, to be happy.

I know that I may be lucky that my weight is 180lbs {there, I said it, now I'm accounted for it} but being 5 ft tall that is a ton of weight to carry. I hate being the one heavy sibling, I hate that my brother keep pinching my love handles when I went to visit... he kept making comments about it until finally, it drove me to tell him to fuck off. I hate that some "friend" of mine told me she was going to save money so she could pay for my Lipo. I forgave the comment since I know that she is unhappy with her life*sigh*.

Even though I know that I have implemented a lot of healthy habits: drinking more water, exercising, have fruit and veggies daily, and a better knowledge of portion control, I often wonder: where is it that I go wrong?

After seeing a particular episode on HEAVY this man kept making excuses for himself "I have a new baby, we are moving, etc". He always had an excuse. I have found that I lately I've been doing the same. After my emotional breakdown back in December I have been suffering from insomnia, and
so far I get 4-5 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.

The consequence is that around midnight I get super hungry to the point of having stomach cramps. I try to eat some cereal and milk to control it, but lately I have been eating everything in sight. I guess is easier to eat when no one is watching me.
I haven't gain any weight because of the other stuff that I do right, but I don't think I would loose the weight that I want if I don't stop. Most of all, I need to be honest with my self and not make any excuses if I want to succeed.

Today I've made a decision to be accountable for what I eat and for what I do at all times. I'm going to get some Tylenol PM to see if it helps me adjust the sleeping and continue to write what I eat. I know I can do this!

Over & out


Melissa said...

I am always hungry at midnight. I used to let my honey get ready for bed first and I'd sneak into the kitchen and quickly eat a snack before going to bed myself. It was horrible.

Now I go to bed earlier, before I get hungry again. And LOTS of water.

You can do it! Taking pictures of my dinner helps me.

Vivienne said...

First, please talk to your Dr before you just start yourself on Tylenol PM or something like that. Tylenol has Acetaminophen in it, which can effect your liver and the lining of your stomach.

Insomnia sucks!!! I feel for you because I have it sometimes too. (I can fall asleep but can't stay asleep...)

You're right that we all search for something. I think that you're also right that we need to find happiness within ourselves.

Your email isn't enabled, but I wanted to thank you for sticking up for me on the Pears post. I really appreciate the support.

AndreaLeigh said...

I hope your new strategies work! Definitely try to get some sleep because that affects our weight loss as well.