The Big C Part Deux

It may sound stupid and silly but I needed to vent about this. I just came back from two days of driving back and forward on 4 hrs of sleep, to see my brother. He had an emergency surgery last night. So far we found out that he was hiding that he has Colon Cancer Stage 4 which has already spread to other organs.

They told us the Chemo and Radiation will not cure him, they are trying to prolong his life, but yesterday he had to be resuscitated and have the emergency operation because of a rupture.

He is talking and the pain is under control with the medication but the Dr. told me that he can't guarantee he will make it out. This is as horrible as it sounds.

The worst is that he lives alone, there are no other relatives in the state, let along the town that he is in. His kids are abroad and I had to notify them. Right now we don't know if we should tell my Dad who is 83 and suffering from an illness himself.

I'm just putting it out there because my brain just wont register this...maybe for therapy...I'll be back when I have a chance again. In the meantime, take care of each other.

Over & out

I slept!

This is (hopefully) going to be a quick post.

I was so thrilled to read the answers from FMM (look at my previous post) and everyone that ported @Alltheweigh it is truly inspirational. So far I've been keeping to my calories and doing some exercise; but the most thrilling development was that I sleep for 8 hours last night! woooo hooooo GO ME!

I lay down to watch one of my shows (not MINE, but you know what I mean) and fell asleep right after (11pm!) the next thing I know I woke up at around 1am because it was really hot, you know living with boys they do not check the thermostat, so I lower it and went back to bed...until 7:30am! I fell so amazing is insane, I seriously need to do whatever it takes so I can make this happen for me. I was not cranky this morning, actually got a lot done and will be working out right after the little guy takes his nap.

This is good, this is REALLY good :)

Oh and I forgot that I got a few things last week:

the above bag was a deal from nomorerack for $15 (they claim it cost $90+) well, it looks really cheap and smell really bad. I aired it out so it no longer smells. I don't think I would use it though. Bummer. Not impress by nomorack...

My latest nail colors topless & barefoot and Marshmallow, both from Essie (sorry for the bad picture) I'm wearing the more peachy one Topless & barefoot.

Above is the July Birchbox, for $10 shipped this is the best thing I've ever done, if you love deluxe samples you should look into it. This month they are coordinated with:

Here is what I got from her favorite items (some boxes may differ from each other):

Redken shine flash 02 glistening mist

Pür Minerals 4-in-1 Pressed Mineral Foundation with SPF 15 (full size!)

Korres Showergel in guava

philosophy® purity made simple™ one-step facial cleanser - 16 oz

and a Kind fruits & nuts bad (Apricot and almonds)

so that is it for now.

Over & out

Friend Makin Monday's 7/25/11

So I'm joining in again on the Friend Makin' Monday's. As I said before I'm running around each and everyday, and sometimes is hard to post a decent blog post. This always gives me an opportunity to start my train of thought.

If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen.

FMM: Defining Moments

Was there a defining moment in which you realized that you needed to lose weight? If so, will you elaborate? (If you experienced this moment in some other area of your life, please feel free to share that too!)

I had several moments in my life in which I wanted to get back to where I was when I first came to the US (size 5, around 120 lbs) but I just didn't have it in me, didn't care. I had a series of bad relationships that drove me to be insecure, to over indulge on foods that where not good for me. (mainly sweets).

I've never been one of those eaters that finish and entire plate of anything, I only eat 2 slice of pizza, and I really don't like fast food. So you would think this would make things easy but I can't ever say no to desserts. This has been my down fall. My Aquiles Tendon is sweets; I crave them like a drug addict, I open and close cabinets like a mad woman looking for something sweet to eat. I can't have one cookie, or one brownie.

I realize that I needed to change because of a picture of me (not the one's above, these are obviously me on my first year here), I saw it and thought "boy do I look fat", then the same week we went to NYC to visit Family and I was going up the stairs, getting out of breath by the 3rd floor. Then I realize is not that I look fat, I am fat. I am the only one that can change this for me and It was time to do something.

I'm no where near where I want to be and it's so very hard for me to loose weight because of all the stress I have, the sleepless nights (I only get an average of 4-5 hrs) and that makes me super tired. But I wont give up, I'll keep on trying each and every day, one step at a time.

So off I go to do some workout today, because is not about later or tomorrow, but right now.

Over & out

Driving a cab

Let me explain before you freak out like my friend Kelly and call me talking 1,000mph to let me know how dangerous that is for me. No people, I'm not working as a taxi driver...yet (hey, you never know), but it sure feels like it.

I know we are all busy but it seems to me like I'm busier than most people I know. I've posted before how crazy my days can get...well that was a walk in the park compared to now days.

I'm going to do a review of Monday, just as an example:

5:30am drive to pick up friend to drop her at her work (car is broken)

6am arrive to her job, drive back home...

6:30 home..hubs and Big kid get ready, I cuddle in bed with the little guy trying to get some sleep, which I can so I just fix our room and get the little guy ready.

7:30am car packed with everyone

7:50 drop big kid @ college

8:05 drop hubs @ train station

drive back to our town

8:30am pick up Brother in law @ car dealer where he was dropping his car for maintenance

8:50 drop BIL @ his house

drive home

make breakfast for me and the little guy

9:30am on my way out to pick up BK from college

9:50 drive back home

10:15 I get home (there is always traffic at this time)

clean kitchen, dishes, etc.

do 2 loads of laundry

make lunch

fold laundry

get kiddo to nap

2:00pm drive to pick up BIL @ his house

2:20pm drop him off @ dealer

2:40pm home again, more chores

5:30pm on our way to drop BK @ college again (Traffic, AGAIN)

6:00pm arrive at Sis house to pick up the Goat I ordered for dinner (otherwise I would be

home cooking until...)

7:00pm leave house to go get Hubs @ train station

7:30 stopped to get milk, juice

8:00 dinner

9:20 this time Hubs leaves to pick up BK from college while I bathe the little guy.

Seriously INSANE! and yes, there are days that I don't pick up my BIL, but I have two days a week that I have to squeeze in 2 hrs of learning center/daycare that I take the little guy so he can socialize and play with other kids.

I feel like I'm always on the go, and I knew this was going to happen because this is now my job, to be a SAHM.

The one thing I do regret is that I'm finding it so difficult to exercise - I usually do it when the little guy is napping. Maybe that's why I'm failing to succeed on this weight lost journey, because I don't have a lot of time for me. I'm still writing down what I eat with the help of myfitnesspal.com and trying really hard to make a conscious effort to do better. I wont give up, I have to do it. I've asked Friends and family to give me their tips and that gave me energy to keep going.

Here is to a more restful, easier, healthier week.

Over & out

yay It's Friend makin' Monday again!

Although I am so tired I could hibernate until christmas right now (sleep from 4:00am till 5:30 and off playing taxi cab today) I am so excited to another FMM

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Ten Random Questions

1) What do you like most about yourself? I always, ALWAYS try to help people. Usually it means I have to sacrifice my time (and sleep) but I will always lend a hand.

2) List three characteristics that you like to have in your friends. Non judgmental and open minded and heart towards others, honesty and a sense of humor

3) How often do you brush your teeth? I mentioned in a previous post that even though I am a neat freak I really HATE brushing my teeth after the little guys pregnancy (it reminds me of throwing up) but I still do it 3 times a day. That's what I get for having SEVEN Dentist in my family -so far.

4) If you could travel anywhere today, where would you go? I was just talking about this with the Hubs (when I woke him at 3am because I couldn't sleep) I want to be in the same Beach Resort where we got married, back in the homeland in the Caribbean...ahhhhh but I'll take Ireland any day

5) Have you ever met anyone from the blog world in person? no :( sadly

6) What is the last show you watched on TV? gosh, not counting the cartoons playing in the background now I was watching reruns of Sex & the city and The Real Housewives of NJ hehehehe

7) What kind of perfume/cologne do you wear? All time favorite and one that people recognize me for is Classique by Jean Paul Gaultier.

How long ago did you complete your last workout? Saturday, but I plan on doing some today

9) What will you eat for dinner tonight? GOAT! yumm, love it. I actually had to special order it because if it's no made correctly is not so good, and this is one thing I don't make.

10) Share something fun that you did over the weekend. My favorite part was going to the movies (big Kid and I) to see Harry Potter. I love that we can hang together, then we browse a music/movie store. He is 19 and I love we can bond on these things.

Now it’s your turn, and you know what to do…Don’t forget to come back and link up! Happy Monday!

Over & out

Birthday wish list (I know, I know)

My birthday is a few months away, but since I've been married the hubs and I have a deal that we usually tell each other what we want, need or is on our wish list. While you may think that it would not be creative or spontaneous, it is, because I don't always know what he is going to get me or I him. He also has a wish list with amazon, one that you could add items even from other sites, and we love it because we can always go back there and refer to the list.

That's how I got my lovely Hunter boots :)

In case you didn't know, I'm obsessed with boots and would love nothing more than to have a closet full of them, so of course this year there are a few boots on my list. Here is my first choice: Frye boots. If you don't know about them you need to. I love them, and I have seen them paired with jeans, skits, shorts, etc. My only issue is price, so we'll see. We don't use credit cards so we only buy what we can pay right then. These are the Jane stitch style.

Then I though maybe I go for something less expensive and get a Bearpaw

and when I saw they come in this awesome green I was ALMOST convinced...

Decisions, decisions...and just for fun here are some of my other items in the list, these are all from Old Navy and would be awesome to get for when we go back to the motherland in January (remember, is an island):

OK, the one above MUST be mine so I will be ordering it soon. Chevron+ navy and white= LOVE

I think I have been inspired more and more to get more dressier instead of just lounging around in sweats after finding this amazing blog from Momma go round. Can she be prettier and stylish? I think not. Here are just two of her lovely looks:

You need to go see her, seriously. Can I say how much I love that we where same sizes and weight the same? She inspires me to try new things.

So whats inspiring you this week?

Over & out

It's Monday! FMM 7-11 (and not the store)

Yay for FMM, Boooo for the crazy days that lay ahead of me. Someone mentioned that now that I'm home I don't do much, when in reality I do more than what I did when I was working full time. But Iam happy to always take time to participate on Friend Makin' Monday!

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: How Much Weight Have You Lost? And what have you gained from losing it? (If you’re participating in FMM – and you’re not on a weight-loss journey, tell us about a powerful change you’ve made in your life!)

This is a hard topic for me because I see other people doing those fast diets and I feel like a looser. I am doing this for me, as a life changing step for me. I was really bad last month and gained 4 lbs, which may not seen like much but I am short and already 180 lbs. I was so sad and discourage. I resolve on stop thinking on what I did wrong and focus on getting better.

I have so far lost those 4 lbs in 2 weeks, which to me is fantastic but I haven't mentioned to anyone. It probably could have been better but I did not deprived myself of the hardest thing for me to give up: sweets. But now I am only eating within my calorie limit intake.

What I have learned and that no matter what size I am I have to love my self first, that would also help me make better choices for myself. I learned that I can indulge on 2 cookies and feel happy and not worry that I would feel deprived. I learned that I must exercise(even if I don't like it much now) if I want to reach my goal, that one day I will become a runner. I've learned that for me is all about acknowledge my flaws and work on them...one cookie at a time :)

Above this past weekend (which some people *caugh-teenage-son caugh* asked me not to post) below pregnant with the little guy.

Now please come join us, and tell us all about it. Seriously this is one of the places that I can count on to make me feel I'm not alone and that I can learn from everyone else's journey. Over & out

Goal: Girly up!

One of my goals for this year is to get more dresses and girlify {it's a word, look it up, shussss} even more. I wear the make up, the hair, the nails, etc. but I don't have many dresses. I felt that being overweight I couldn't but I have seen so many beautiful full figure women wearing them and I want to jump on that wagon too. I've always love the 40's - 50's look but it was never en vogue, so now that it is I think I may add a few of those!

I know Anthropologie is so full of beautiful vintagey dresses but I cannot justify paying the price for them. I found that if you try enough you can find the look for less. I am on the hunt at Marshalls, etc, but haven't found what I want yet. Like this little ensemble from Shabby Apple- this is the Ingrid dress and they said it would flatter my figure (you can take a small survey there for suggestions). This one os $94 and has 20% discount now. LOVE!

The next one is just too wonderful and perfect for my nephews Baptism/ first Birthday that is in the future. I see red pumps with it :) This is from Modcloth but currently out of stock (I believe it was $99.00) so I asked them to notify me when it comes back in stock. They have tons of vintage inspire dresses...why did we ever stop dressing like this?

And because I am from an Island and will be going in a few months I though it was time for a new swimsuit! This one is from (WAIT FOR IT) Walmart PEOPLE! and only $32.00, incredible I know since I have seen this style for triple that.

And since we are talking vintage inspire, I'm loving this wallet also from Modcloth for $37.99- a little pricey for me but oh-so-cute.

Even though this is not the definition of comegetthem and sexiness girly that a successful marriage needs from time to time, they look so confy. I want them. Currently on Amazon, the brand is Frankie & Johnny .

And my favorite Latte Bowls from Anthropologie are on sale right now. 4 for $9.97 but only in dark blue, yellow and melon. I ordered the melon to add to our collection but 2 came broken. They where very prompt to send me not 2 but another set of 4. Love them!

Ahhh, the wish list. I'm dreaming of pretty aprons, flowie dresses, and a date night in my future. Now off to see some Spanish miniseries that has me hooked.

Over & out

Teen Mom

This weekend was very important to me. My oldest turned 19 and for those counting I was 16 when I had him. This is the first year he has spent his Birthday in the US and that means to me more than words can ever express. I'm not going to be political here because it makes me upset, but getting him here legally was more difficult than actually doing an incantation Harry Potter Style. This is where we want to be, and America...we do not take you for granted, so Happy Birthday to you too.

I hate that now days is almost a fashion statement to have a baby that young. Back then- which is not that far back- it was a VERY BAD THING. I was subjected to rumors, to comments, to being told I was damage goods, to people looking down on me, making jokes about me. My Mom made that first year HELL but I endure because I had no other choice.

Still this was the very best thing that ever happened to me, and the hardest too. Oh, I had help from my Mom but not like they had these days. I had to use cloth diapers and washed them by hand each day, I had to wash and sanitized his bottles the old fashion way, make him home made compote and food. You know, all the things that apparently are in fashion now days but that where really, really hard back then.

I took a year to be with him before going to College {again, very thankful that my Parents did not want me to work but to study instead}. After coming here they took care of him while I did his paperwork, so every year I try my darnest to save money to flight back home and be with him, but having him here this year brings me a happiness beyond words.

Having a kid is not my choice for ANYONE. Is hard work, is not pretty, you are going to be changing diapers while your friends are partying, you will have to sacrifice a lot of you, so this little person can become the best it can be. It can be done, and can be done successful if you are committed to do it. I hate for girls to think this is easy, or glamorous, or a way to tie that guy down (because that does not happen).

I am so blessed because I had him, because if I'm any good at being a Mom is because of him, because anything I did was thinking of the best for him, because I realize that those losers that did not want to date me because I had a child where indeed losers and I was better off. Because I realize I was NOT damage goods, but a bless woman because I had him.

This weekend was about him, about family, about being together and enjoying each other, together at last. Happy Birthday America, thank you for letting me have him here to Celebrate His day too.

Over & out

small Bath love

We have a small bathroom and we are trying to maximize space. Redoing it is not an option since we rent, so while browsing thru Ikea it occurred to us that what we need is more shelving. Here is some inspiration for small bathrooms:

Love the subway tile above, it reminds me of NYC, the one below is just lovely

OK, how genius is this cabinet with it's antique door?

We are actually going to be using this shelving in our kitchen so we can have more cabinet space for food...love this idea in the bath too.

The sink is a little modern for me but I love the overall look

Now this one is shelving galore

not sure about the blue and yellow convo, but I like how many things Ikea can fit in their small spaces.

A classic bath, a dream for me.

So they may have gone CRAZY with the shelving and sea shells but it is very unique. If you have small kids I suggest you stay FAR away from this.

I love the coziness of small places {translation- we have a small space and is going to be like that for a long while) but that doesn't mean it can be stylish. Our long list of to do is:

• Get shelves for kitchen
• paint living and dinning walls
• get more cd boxes for storage
• change wall art in living room
• get curtains for said living room

and you bet the majority of this changes will happen with the help of Ikea.

Over & out

P.s. photos taken from google images (small bath or bath shelves) and totally not mine