Marriage is hard and you have to keep working at it. I truly believe that is like a roller coaster, some times you are up high and some times you are coming down...fast. I had to refocus my attention when things got really ugly and the arguments where the worst we had in all our time together. That is not how we want to live.
After much inner searching I realized it didn't matter who was wrong (him) or who was right (me...I kid, I kid) but how to make things work. I told him just so. I stated that what I was requesting was very important to me, but no more important than our marriage, I asked what could I do to make things better. You would not believe how fast things cool down once we realized being right was not the main goal but how to work thru this.
I would say that thankfully is not about cheating, drinking, gambling, drugs, or major things. To me (and to us it seems) is the little things that you don't talk about. The things that just build up until you explode for what may seem something trivial.
I recommend speaking about the little things every day and airing the laundry as much as possible. So I've been doing that, trying to work things out, spending time with the kids and friends, cooking and turning this:
into this delicious dish (that has tons of carrots and onions but you would never know since they are blended in!
Took sometime to do this (see how Happy Teenagers are to go take pics with the family?) bwahahaha
and received a few goodies: ALL FOR FREE!!! including our Christmas cards. I love me some coupons and giveaways.
It feels good to take care of me too. I've been stepping out with friends for 1 or 2 hours just to browse some makeup, browse the malls, run some errands. Just hanging with friends can do so much good. After all, we all need time away for ourselves.
Over & out
5 comments:
Love all the photos and I couldn't agree with you more about marriage/relationships. Not enough people are willing to trudge through the hard work of finding solutions to problems. Glad you're in a better place after all of this <3
Glad to hear you and hubby are working things out. =)
My marriage is in some need right now, too, and we're both so busy, and I'm too tired to fight anymore...
I LOVE getting free things too. It feels so great, huh?
Hope you've had a great weekend. =)
Marriages take a ton of work! I never imagined how much until I got married. We have had our ups and downs, and our really lows were we almost divorced but we worked through it and continue working on it. If your both willing to work on things, talk and admit your faults and work on them then it can work.
I've been married 23 years now, and I think that marriage gets better as the couple gets older. It's seems that the other person proves their loyalty and commitment over difficult times. And we quit trying to fix each other (except eating better--still trying to keep husband eating healthy). And we can just look at each other and know the shared memory of some day from the past 24 years. It's interesting--if you can get past those younger harder years of marriage.
:-) Marion
As a newlywed, July 2nd this year, I can attest to the fact that marriage isn't perfect. My husband and I started living together within months of dating and we got very comfortable and settled into a routine of sorts. We know one another's habits and we know the ins and outs of living together. It works great for us. 4 years later we get married and everyone asks "How's married life?" and we say "The same as unmarried life..." Marriage didn't change our life together. We still have moments where we work on each others nerves. We have lovey dovey moments, but really...it's a relationship that needs the same as any other...compromise, communication, love, understanding, SPACE, and freedom.
If you two work on your communication, things will be a lot better for you. All you have to know is that you want to be together. If the two of you agree that regardless of the BS you want to be together...then time will work it out. Communication is the key!
No marriage is perfect! I have a close friend who by all accounts had the perfect marriage by far compared to anyone I've ever met and it turns out she only shared the good stuff. They are not separated and struggling through counseling and she admits now that she only told the good stuff...she never let on that there were problems.
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