It feels like a new opportunity to start over and do better. However, I am not doing that this time; not because I don't want to but because I have different things going on for a while now that I've been trying to work on. So far I have this:
1. work on my marriage. Is not like we have major issues but I feel I have neglected my Hubs to be a better Mom. I've always put the kids first and him as sloppy third. It's sad to admit but is the truth. After a very horrible week moths ago, in which our argument escalated I realized I needed it to do better, and I am. Things are better, plans are being made for date nights. We cannot forget these guys are the ones we intend to spent the rest of our lives with, don't you want that life to be a wonderful one?
2. I want to be happy with who I am. I want to feel beautiful and KNOW in my heart that no matter what size I am, I am me. Yes, I am still trying to do better, eat better, exercise more and all that gits, but I am no longer going to punish myself for being the size I am. This body has created TWO human beans, Now that's a Super Power. And I get Mariah, Jennifer and Janet. you are trying to sell me that if I loose weight I will be happier, that after having kids I have to put down those pounds in 2 months and not the almost 10 that took to put it on.
I am doing it the other way around. I am going to be happy with ME, love ME and see where that takes me, and if I loose the weight even the more fun. (I should also mention that my goal weight has been readjusted to being instead a state of feel. I'll know I'll reach my goal when I can run/walk 5 miles instead of a number on a scale).
3.I am working on being a better person. Simple, right? NOPE
I want to not criticized others, to accept them once and for all. To be a better friend, daughter, mother and wife. To love people for who they are and not trying to change them. The most difficult task for me is forgiveness. There are things I cannot forget and those are making things difficult. But I am working on them.
These are just a few, we also have been talking about finances, new opportunities, maybe even moving...New York? uhm...maybe.
So I sincerely hope if you have goals and new years resolutions that they are all successful, that you reach everything you want. But most of all to know that no matter what, that is OK to be you, whatever that may be. Wanting to do better is wonderful, but if you had a bad day remember, there is always tomorrow.
I'm off my peeps. Sickness still around as the little one has caught a nasty cough and the Hubs has the flu. I should wear a nurse outfit with all the sickness around me in the last month.
Over & out
P.S. My SIL took this picture of me as a joke as we where heading out to the family New Years Eve party. Those heels and NYC do not get along :)
(there is another one of me with the same outfit wearing UGGS)
2 comments:
CUTE outfit, loving that skirt and you are a BRAVE WOMAN to wear those heels knowing you'll do some walking!
I love this post and think you are right on track with wanting to love who you are. I find, personally, that I value myself based on what the number reflects on the scale. If I've gained, suddenly I treat myself like I'm garbage. I beat myself up. I want to do better, I want to exercise and make healthy choices, and I want to lose this weight, but, I also want to enjoy my life as every day comes and goes. If I'm beating myself up, how can that happen?
I think working on your marriage is a great goal! I sometimes worry that when I DO have a child that I'll focus all my attention on the child and that my relationship with my husband will suffer. Kids need you whereas your husband can fend for himself. It's a concern and it's something I think about even though I don't have a baby yet.
Keep up the good work and enjoy being you. From where I sit, you seem awesome just as you are!
I love the honesty in your post and the thought you put into your intentions for the year, all of which I believe will happen for you.
Happy New Year, friend!
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