I want the world...I want the whole world...

Yes, I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because, lets face it, I love you Johnny Depp but the original was MUCH BETTER. Plus I have the special features that have all the kids older. AND have a sing-a-long contest with the cat and the baby. Ok, maybe Pearl was just crying because she was trying to get away from me. And yes, the little guy just said waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa over and over...whatever. Don't matter to me.

I've been thinking lately (lock your doors, collect water and supplies, the world is ending) that there are just so many things I want and can't have. Lots. And sometimes I get sad and depressed and wonder to the Almighty, when are we getting a break.

Y'all know about our financial situation, actually is more like the lack of a financial situation. So yes, I was hoping the taxes where going to give us a little breather. Maybe finally get the hubs a new watch...I dreamt that maybe, perhaps there would be a little left for something small (no- not my dream Hunter's Boots).

But that's not gonna happen. Apparently the IRS thinks we don't need the help and decided to give the money to else where...all of it...*sniff* so yeah, I was mad, I was a raging bull and yes, I did use some words that would make sailors blush...oh yessssssssss I did. I was ready to pack my bag and go back to the motherland-defeated. But not gonna happen 'cause I'm not a quitter. nope.no.nai.nada.

The one little thing I've seriously been eyeing from The Vintage Pearl forevaaaa ...I think last year I said that maybe I could get it for my birthday...and that didn't happen. Then I was like, ok-maybe Christmas...then we where out of house and home...literally, so that didn't happen. Being that getting a place to live seemed like a priority...geeesh.

(if you are wondering, I want either the left top or right bottom with my boys name)
Isn't her stuff amazing!?

So then I though...uhm...maybe Valentines (not a fat chance) and now I though well, with the taxes it can be for Mother's day. Yeah, not happening. Again. Thanks. And I know people are going to say: "you should be focusing on getting on your feet, and being responsible, and blah, blah, blahbiddy" but it seems to me that I should be allowed one thing. One little materialistic selfish indulgence for now. To make me feel better. I know, is silly.

I figure the other stuff wont come any time soon...you see, I keep this folder of pictures of my future dream home and what stuff I would love to have. The hubs and I talk about this stuff and we have faith that one day, hopefully not too far from now, it will happen. (maybe sooner because hubs says we are winning the Green Home Giveaway)...so there sits all my dreams...compacted on a file format...

I have tons, and I do mean tons of pictures of future projects and ideas. So many dreams to have. Then It dawned on me that I see people all the time, having those things and still want something else. Isn't that human nature? to always want more-bigger-better? I remember my Mom-ster came once and sat in what was then our new car (an smaller SUV) and she told me how much she liked it. I replied that I did too but that my dream car was a Ranger Rover. She asked me why? I said 'cause it is my dream car and is beautiful, and all this inconsequential things. She said to me that this car would take me to the same places as the other one, that it was the same thing, that is nothing out there better than what we already have.

Well, I know that's not entirely true but I get her point. There is nothing better than what is yours. I am not in love with our place, that's not a secret, but is ours and I need to make it a place that I love.

I keep thinking while browsing thru blogland how lucky some ladies are to stay at home, go thrifting and redesigning stuff. To be able to make their home beautiful. How lucky are these women that can actually get my necklace without thinking, how lucky... but then in my goofy old self have a singing/screaming match with the little guy, then have the hubs pat my hinny and tell me I'm beautiful (while wearing an apron mind you), have the big kid call just 'cause and spent an hour chatting about life and laughing with me, even though he is 17 and think is cooler than cool aid.

And then I think of my friend that is single and is day dreaming of Prince Charming. Or the several friends and acquaintance that are trying to have a child. Or the one's that don't have a job. Or a family. Or the friend that's going thru a terrible divorce. Or the one that's sick. And think I have TONS of stuff other people would want to have. And then I crack a smile...

Because I know I have so much already, but by golly!, I'm still plotting how to get that necklace!

Over & Out

(Disclaimer: I've collected these pictures to google, the web, catalogs, etc, ...overtime...I think there may also besome from a blog or two there too. If its your picture, please let me know ad I'll give proper credit)